The Happiness Handbook and Boundaries?
You know, some days it’s just weird having a blog and a book about happiness when…I’m not happy.
We’re working on a CD called Excavation in Urban Fiction; mining our old emotional baggage and finding that sorrow is an ironic muse. So, of course in “excavation” some of this old stuff, it’s rich, it’s interesting…but not necessarily happy. – When we win the grammy for it, I reserve the right to change my mind!
Anyway, I digress from the blog title.
Awhile back, a close friend came over and said they had gotten themselves into a pickle and needed to detox. I’ve been through crap and back, I’m healthy and have a healing vibe in my home so could they detox at my place?
We discussed it for days and looked into what the symptoms we could expect to emerge, what support there was for my friend and for me.
In the end, it came down to looking at what my own answers were to “what makes me happy” in my book.
Would my friend come out of this healthy but would I wind up crazy unhappy?
It was a very heavy decision, since I love this person with my big open heart and being from Minnesota, kinda used to just always helping! But having the clarity from my book, it was with a heavy heart that I said “no”.
My friend checked into rehab and I checked out alanon.
Thank goodness that I’d actually done my book! By me knowing what makes me happy and using that to set my boundaries, I actually made a healthy decision for both of us.
Happy now? Ahh, no…not really. I’m looking at myself through the lense of alanon and there’s some behaviors I have had in the past that…sting. But in the immortal words of Scarlett, “tommorrow is another day”!
Grateful now? Absolutely, positively!
wistfully,
j.
PS – oh, my friend is awesome and inspiring and doing really well!! Yeah, happy dance.
Isn’t it weird how a person can both be happy and unhappy at the same time!